It has been ... like 2 months ... almost since my previous post. Yup it has been busy for sure. It feels like that I moved from Spring with a full schedule, to summer with a tight schedule, and all the way straight to the Fall with a fuller and tighter schedule. My instructor from my practicum said she felt tired just by looking at my schedule for this semester, and she was like Grace it is sad, very sad when I told her that I had no idea what I should do during the an hour and fifteen minutes break I have on my tuesdays, since I only have 15 minutes on any other days in the week to move from office to classrooms...I laughed out loud. Oh well, I think it is probably better for me to be busy now, at least, I won't have time to think too much (hopefully).
I had some a-ha moments in the past few months. I realized again that I, and, most likely, everybody, tend to miss the faces they can't see anymore. When they are still around, it is no big deal to not to see them. I know it's all old and cliche, but I do feel sad and guilty that I am so powerless to even change my own attitude. I know I will regret in the future no matter what. I know there will be a soft and hollow part deep down in my heart that is gonna hurt badly.
another one is that I stepped back to the trap I stepped in when I was younger...thought I have learned the lessons...guess people don't get smarter even though they might be approaching 30. I don't know when I will be able to get over it... but sometimes I just need to let it go.
I was manipulated again. that person's agenda never failed to work on me, it is like spell. What the ... yup a gigantic aha moment right there. and you know what, I am done playing with you.
I started my practicum. it has been good. but I was dumb enough to believe that she actually diligently asked for my advice. and I was naive enough to open my mouth... so I ended up getting some dirty stares... oh well, lesson learned... guess the so-called Chinese office politics work everywhere in the world: new bees be dumb( :) got it?)
Alright. The End.
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