It does seem like I have given up on blogging... well, sorry about that.
I guess I have to be burden-free in a way to be able to write. Writing for me is a leisure, which I enjoy while I feel relaxed. I used to keep a journal throughout all the years, then I stopped after I got married. Probably communicating with my dear husband is too exhausting----which, David, you know it's not true :)
There has been a lot of stuff going on after my previous blog. I began to form a more clearly picture God made for me. He is asking BIG from me, and of course, David as well. I'm not going to lie, I do feel stressed out. Lat week, I would go to bed around 10, and still feel so tired and depressed when I woke up around 7:30 in the morning. Nothing was refreshing enough. Indisputably, I can easily become the next Qiongyao crying star if I had the access to that dramatic writer and couldn't care less how stupid I would be.
But, hey, I'm blogging again, am I? So life hasn't been too bad. I went to Dillard's the other day. One thing so so great about America is that they have sales all the time. No joking! So I went there to shop. I got a belt, and I wore it to church the past Sunday morning---of course, with other clothing as well :) I think it's pretty. Even though none of my friends mentioned it... stinkers.
Some of you might've known this already---I'm applying an assistantship. It'll be nice to get the tuition covered and paid monthly as well. To be honest with you guys, I have never felt I needed money so much, not even last year when we just moved to America. So whoever gets to read this, please pray for me.
Friends have always been a huge part of me. But sometimes they do break my heart. I would, once a while, doubt the friendship or how much they actually need me in their life if I have to initiate most of the get-together/ activities most of the time. Guess I feel insecure. But I'm more than happy with my choice of friends, and I'm more than certain the friends I have right now are going to be the friends of a life time.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Just in case some of you thought I've abandoned my site ...
It has been a while since my previous post. I thought about posting a Chinese one, but I just happened to have time in the office.Oh well.
Life has been busy. I found myself spending a lot of time reading my diagnosis textbook this semester, because my professor insist in giving quiz every week, and I'm going to take it in one hour and 15 minutes. I don't know why I'm feeling hectic right now. Probably because I know I want to finish this post as soon as possible, but at the same time, I'm afraid it might turn into something meaningless.
I haven't given too much thinking on assistantship since I started school, but it got me wired up to this direction since Sunday. I prayed for it these days as well, I believe it is an opportunity God gives to me, and now it totally depends on if I'm going to work on it. Unfortuately, I was told by my husband a plan made by our acquaintences, and I was shocked. Even though I knew the plan probably won't get carried out, still it stirred up quite bit dirt. The past few days, when I woke up in the morning, somehow my mind would kind of ponder around that idea for a second or so, then I would hear myself signing. Isn't it amzing to see what an impact someone might have on your life? or pathetic?
When I was on the bus this morning coming to campus, I prayed about it looking at trees and buildings by the said of the road. He knows what I think, what I want and what I fear. He seems so much more reliable and inviting when your hands and feet are tied up. Fearless.
Life has been busy. I found myself spending a lot of time reading my diagnosis textbook this semester, because my professor insist in giving quiz every week, and I'm going to take it in one hour and 15 minutes. I don't know why I'm feeling hectic right now. Probably because I know I want to finish this post as soon as possible, but at the same time, I'm afraid it might turn into something meaningless.
I haven't given too much thinking on assistantship since I started school, but it got me wired up to this direction since Sunday. I prayed for it these days as well, I believe it is an opportunity God gives to me, and now it totally depends on if I'm going to work on it. Unfortuately, I was told by my husband a plan made by our acquaintences, and I was shocked. Even though I knew the plan probably won't get carried out, still it stirred up quite bit dirt. The past few days, when I woke up in the morning, somehow my mind would kind of ponder around that idea for a second or so, then I would hear myself signing. Isn't it amzing to see what an impact someone might have on your life? or pathetic?
When I was on the bus this morning coming to campus, I prayed about it looking at trees and buildings by the said of the road. He knows what I think, what I want and what I fear. He seems so much more reliable and inviting when your hands and feet are tied up. Fearless.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Happy New Year.. I guess
It is the Chinese New Year Eve today in America. So I called several people back in China after I sat down in the office this morning. It was all good, but I think I'm a little bit homesick right now.
I feel hurt by my sister. She is a very nice person, yet she'll turn into a cold and indifferent creature if she is dissatisflied with me. I called her this morning too to wish her a happy new year, hoping to get a warm and cozy feeling from her since it is the special season of this year, and she is my sister. The phone call was simple and short. I asked, she answered; I said "happy new year, and wish you'll have a good one", she said "en.."; I paused, thinking she might remember what she could've/ should've said to me, none came through from the other end of the line.
So that was pretty much it. I said goodbye; I hang up the phone.
I sincerely feel the loneliest season for me is always those speical Chinese holidays since I moved to America. No matter how many friends I might seem having, every langh and joy just somehow fades away gradually in those few days throughout a year. In those few days, I don't feel at home here, I feel lonely even though David is with me every step of the way.
When I was younger, I didn't realized one day I would feel what my mom or other older people used to feel. I thought I would be just fine by myself. Now, I have God, and I have a great husband, yet I still feel the sadness and uncertainty, how about those without either?
Luckie(a dog) and I are very much alike. We both like meeting a lot of people at one time, the subcortical centre somehow senses and sends out the excitement of fun; we both like going out, the unpredictable fun is way too inviting. She probably feels pretty lonely and meybe even sad in the dog's holidays, if they actually have any. I don't like to indulge and appreciate the aroma and happiness from memories, because comparison hurts the moment, and I want to be in the moment.
when I first started typing this blog, I thought it was going to be a sad one, but now... I don't even know what it's turned out. Sorry folks. Happy New Year people, and don't have too much fun.
I feel hurt by my sister. She is a very nice person, yet she'll turn into a cold and indifferent creature if she is dissatisflied with me. I called her this morning too to wish her a happy new year, hoping to get a warm and cozy feeling from her since it is the special season of this year, and she is my sister. The phone call was simple and short. I asked, she answered; I said "happy new year, and wish you'll have a good one", she said "en.."; I paused, thinking she might remember what she could've/ should've said to me, none came through from the other end of the line.
So that was pretty much it. I said goodbye; I hang up the phone.
I sincerely feel the loneliest season for me is always those speical Chinese holidays since I moved to America. No matter how many friends I might seem having, every langh and joy just somehow fades away gradually in those few days throughout a year. In those few days, I don't feel at home here, I feel lonely even though David is with me every step of the way.
When I was younger, I didn't realized one day I would feel what my mom or other older people used to feel. I thought I would be just fine by myself. Now, I have God, and I have a great husband, yet I still feel the sadness and uncertainty, how about those without either?
Luckie(a dog) and I are very much alike. We both like meeting a lot of people at one time, the subcortical centre somehow senses and sends out the excitement of fun; we both like going out, the unpredictable fun is way too inviting. She probably feels pretty lonely and meybe even sad in the dog's holidays, if they actually have any. I don't like to indulge and appreciate the aroma and happiness from memories, because comparison hurts the moment, and I want to be in the moment.
when I first started typing this blog, I thought it was going to be a sad one, but now... I don't even know what it's turned out. Sorry folks. Happy New Year people, and don't have too much fun.
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